For Valentine’s Day this year Andreas treated me to Mexican food and bought us race entry to the XNRG Humanity Direct Amersham 50 K Ultra. This guy is the best!
Baja Fish Tacos, nachos, Pina Coladas consumed and with a 44 mile race already ticked off this year I was feeling pretty confident about that second part. This would be our 3rd 50 K race and training had been going well, I was consistently racking up the weekly mileages and remaining injury free. I was thinking of it as a chance to really rip up the trail, get a new PB, legitimately consume Rocky Roads… In all honesty I thought it would be a breeze.
Andreas, generally the more grounded of the two of us, did not agree. “Are you joking? 50 K is still 50 K!”
Now it’s impossible to know exactly how the day would have gone had we not had this conversation, 7am, in the car on the way to Amersham but I’d like to speculate that sometimes you are your own self-fulfilling prophecy. That is whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’re probably right. Other times, the opposite is true. You might think ‘there is no way in hell I can run for 30 continuous minutes in just 9 weeks, maybe never’ but then you go ahead and do it anyway.
Of course sometimes the answer is glaringly obvious. 50 K is indeed still 50 K, and despite my intention to consume yet more cake, it was not, to quote an American expression referring to a very easy task, a cake walk. And I was mentally woefully under-prepared for the distance.
Physically, I had been having some of the best training weeks leading up to an event possible. But mentally, my dismissive, it’ll all be fine, because it’s totally going to be easy… arrogance had left me chastened and aching by 28 K.
The route, the organisation, the wildlife, the other runners – everything was fantastic. XNGR have the best stocked aid stations I’ve ever seen. But I was tapped out. Then Andreas was tapped out. Then I was again. Then Andreas was again.
It’s hard to describe exactly what I mean – I could run, I wanted to run, but a few times I found myself crouched down (okay sometimes actually sitting down) feeling generally sorry for my calves as they protested at being forced round yet another obscene distance. Why was I feeling like this? It sounds stupid, but I wasn’t expecting it to hurt. I know, right? I had forgotten the ‘let’s jump in the canal feeling’.
I am not alone, who finishes an event, feeling wrecked, broken and exhausted swearing never again, only to sign up to next year’s event with the discount code provided in your finishers bag?
Anyway, back to the actual event. It’s a circular course starting from Dr Challoner’s Grammar School (with showers and changing rooms, yey!) which heads out and about the Chilterns, one of my favourite places to run! Out from the school and the first section is a seemingly gentle downhill, (which will not seem so gentle uphill at 47 K in). At the race briefing Neil Thubron, XNRG Founder and Director, says they like to make their courses challenging and enjoyable to all. He is genuine, warm and eludes confidence which is catching. The surfaces today are officially something like 10% paths/roads and 90% trail, I would counter that it was 10% path, 80% trail and 10% mud. (Good thing I remembered last minute that I bought some gaiters (mudguards)).
In the right shoes I don’t mind mud. With the gaiters on I felt kind of invincible (even if I did occasionally pick up a few sticks!). There was a really squishy downhill section, with an uneven twisty path, where you could literally hop like a ninja from bank to bank. During this section Andreas and I overtook a few folks, who I assume under normal circumstances would easily outrun us. But on this downhill track they just could not get purchase. Their feet slipped with every step. I empathised, I’ve tried to run on a muddy track with my road shoes before and they do not enjoy it. It makes it a real mission just to stay upright. The Saucony Peregrine’s however, hugged the ground and never once lost traction. In really thick mud they do tend to get clogged (think Spice Girl era platform shoes) but today they were really holding their own. Down we went, through the fields, past some ponies, under the forest canopy… Yeah, this is defiantly one of my favourite places to run.
Andreas bonded with a guy running in barefoot style running shoes and I stuffed my face with Clif energy blocks/bars and all the cakes. Things were going well… but then… 50K is just kind of long… so, yes… I started to hurt and overheat, which I wasn’t prepared for and so began a mental motivation battle. I was doing it, wasn’t I? I can do this. I wasn’t quitting, but did it have to hurt? And why it is suddenly boiling hot?
The weather that day was perfect for running. It wasn’t hot or cold or humid. My body was just having a tantrum. Two check points before the end and 14 ish K to go I decide to risk death by chafing and remove my running top to run in just my sports bra. My Camelbak will chafe, it’s just a question of how much. But I can’t stand the heat anymore – is this still a side effect of the secondary amenorrhea? I still get hot flushes and night sweats like a menopausal woman, is this what this is? How long to undo all the damage I inflicted through inadequate fuelling? I moan to anyone who will listen at the aid station and forget to eat anything but with more skin exposed I do feel better. Cooler, calmer – I settle into a nice rhythm for the last little bit, still optimistic to be under 6 hours.
Alas it was not to be. The hill which hadn’t seemed so relentless at the beginning was stretching on. Andreas and I shuffled up following a guy walking nonchalantly with a cherry flavoured vape. I watched his Tesco carrier bag swing back and forth with a sigh of resignation. I was trying to convince Andreas we could still make it (in under 6 hours) if we ran up the hill, but his toes weren’t cooperating. Andreas rarely complains so it had to be bad (it was, his blisters had blisters under his toenails!). Eventually I am persuaded to head on alone but it is too little too late and I can’t help but feel guilty to leave Andreas behind.
6:02:53 … a frustrating time but it is still nearly 2 hours off our previous personal best so I refuse to be disheartened about it. The race director Neil personally shakes everyone’s hands and congratulates us which is another little touch that makes me love this kind of event even more. Andreas follows a few minutes later and then we head off in search of cake. My back is bleeding a little from rubbing with my bag but fortuitously it doesn’t sting too much in the shower! Additionally, I can just about walk normally, which is good, because tomorrow morning Andreas and I are off to Lapland…
One final amazing thing about the XNRG Humanity Direct Amersham 50 K Ultra – XNRG essentially run this event for free for the charity Humanity Direct. Many people fundraised on top of donating their entry fee, generating a total of £12,000 to help patients in Africa who would otherwise be unable to get critical healthcare. Really shows how generous people can be! Real people and real lives have genuinely been dramatically improved because of Humanity Direct, XNRG and the runners that day! And that is kind of beautiful. Well worth it!
Check out the Charity here – https://www.humanitydirect.org/
KerryRUN 